IT’S COMPLICATED

Feb 9th. Today she would have been 88 ( we think). Many of you knew my mom. It’s hard to describe her but to say she was “ the life of the party”. My sissy and I grew up in the same house our entire lives and so did most of our neighbors. She was single for a long time so to make ends meet she would wash and press our neighbors and her friends clothes. No one was better at taking out a stain like my mom. Summers were days on the beach, library readings, movies on the military base, and our own “ peaceful village” in our backyard. Memories of my mom consisted of her sitting at the kitchen booth with her leg going back and forth, smoking numerous cigarettes, and talking endlessly on the phone with her friends and neighbors. She eventually married a second time to my stepdad that most people called “coach”. And that’s when life really changed. It was fun, adventurous ,and also volatile. Throughout the years my sister and I have talked about our relationship with my mom and in the end we describe it as “complicated”. I have found that many of my friends also had or have complicated relationships with their mothers…it’s just that way. Maybe it’s because we have expectations of what a good mom is supposed to be and then we find it not so true..including those of us who are moms now. A few mornings ago I heard the familiar sound of the doves returning to their nesting ground. It reminded me of how God created mothers to care for their babies as best they could and then it was up to the grown children to fly off and start their own families. When God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus, the Son of God, the Savior of the world, she was just a young teenager. I’m sure she too was “complicated” but God still chose her. Mothers are imperfect, scared, and often times live with guilt on their own parenting skills. But God chose THEM for that child, for that period of time, for that eternal purpose. Mothers were not made to be perfect…they were meant to love the best they could and rely on God for all the rest. So today I want to say “Happy Birthday Mom”. I know you are with Jesus now and for all that you gave to my sister and me, thank you. And for all the moms who are reading this blog, I too say thank you. We may not be perfect but it was God Himself who choose US for the children He gave us to love, support, and let go to be the people who will fly into the world with dreams of their own and create new families….just like our returning doves….