WHEN PAIN COMES KNOCKING
It’s the Fourth of July. A time to celebrate. So what better way than making homemade apple pie with a little vanilla bean ice cream on the top? The aroma in the kitchen with the cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and all those crispy apples can make a person smile…even when they are in pain. It started in April but, with so much going on, I just ignored it. With each month passing I continued to ignore it but that didn’t make the pain go away. I finally told Kev about it and he immediately said I needed to get it checked out. My appointment came but Jake was in the ER so I had to postpone it. This past week I had my abdomen x rayed and also got my colonoscopy. The results? I have diverticulosis. It’s minor but could get worse if I don’t deal with it now. Just another health issue. I sat in a meeting sharing with others that I had done everything that was important to me in April; lost the weight, went back east and saw my sissy, brother and dad, my bestie Dori from college, witnessed Jake graduating from GCU AND move out to start his new journey, watched Kev jump out of a plane, saw Jake and Kev go to Peru AND come back. My bucket list had been completed. I had worked so hard to lose my weight and prepare for everything else on my list. It was like training and running a marathon and finally making the time you had wanted…only to start all over again a month later. But for what reason? I’m tired and have lost my motivation. I’m finished. Ever felt that way? The thing is, if you woke up you’re NOT finished. God is the ONLY one who makes the final call. Both Kev and I are feeling our age but who isn’t? Have you ever just wanted to quit? To give up? The fight to continue with your health issues, constant family crises, marital despair, financial struggles ,loneliness…can be overwhelming. Sometimes you just get tired and say “ Why?” To be honest ,I don’t have an answer to that question. But, I was at that meeting, starting over…again. I got up at 4:00 am to go to my new job and praying I can make a difference for Jesus. I went to the gym. I had my salad. I paid my bills. I told Kev I loved him. I told Jake how proud I am of him. I thanked God he gave me another day to glorify Him. And then I did it all over again. Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is to keep doing…keep going…keep saying yes to God when you would rather say “ I’m tired. Let me sleep now”. Our final day will come soon enough but, until then, I pray you too will get up and say “yes Jesus here am I..send me” .